iBN: 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pornstar

9. Your vagina must be really worn out.
(Mine isn't nearly as bad as your mother's after pushing such a giant idiot like you out of it.)

8. I would never watch porn. I think it is degrading to women.
(Then how did you know my name? And my measurements? And my astrological sign? And my birthdate?)

7. How do I get my girlfriend/wife to do ________?
(Ask her, not me. By the way, talking to me in the first place is not helping your cause.)

6. Wow! You're so much prettier/younger/thinner in your photos
. (Obviously your mother didn't teach you anything and it is called Photoshop.)

5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week!
(OK, I didn't need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)

4. I could do porn.
(No, you couldn't. If you could, you already would be ... and no, I will NOT audition you!)

3. Are those yours?
(Well, I paid for them.)

2. Do you think you are going to hell?
(Discussing religion with a porn star will get you as far as discussing porn with your grandmother ... just don't try it.)

1. I wanna take you out on a "real" date.
( I did not realize all my other ones were imaginary.)